Break.

So the semester has finally reached its conclusion for better or for worse. I must say it most certainly will not be one of my more proud moments upon getting my grades, but I just have to step up my game next semester and take whatever steps i need to take to reach my goal to finish up my degree and not get too bogged down with the past which is unchangeable at this point.

Break is finally here and I can finally get everything organized! I do have a few goals for this momentary respite..
1)organize/file/shred all of my papers and documents that I have acquired and piled over the past year
2) study/teach myself organic chemistry with the text i picked up online for like 10 bucks
3) clean!!!!!
4) bakes lots of cookies
5) keep putting in hard work at the gym

peace

Senseless Chess.

There is so much uncertainty in the world right now. We complete a war on two fronts only to engage in another war or two? Give me a break, and the rest of the tax-payer base.

I just hope the EU situation can get figured out without going more in debt to China because when the Chinese markets eventually slow down, as they will (even if it's not in the forseeable future..thank goodness) then the whole thing's going to crash down and the US economy will go belly up with it.

Bottom line, taking strategic moves to set up allies against the guys you're beholden to financially may not be the best idea and entering another couple of wars (pak and syria) may not be the best idea. Are the protests even legitimate, or was it started by muckrakers on our side stirring up the soup accomplishing revolution to put our choice in office..someone we could dominate if worse came to worse.

peace

Onward, March!

I have 5 short days left in my possession to turn this thing around. Here goes.
Updates to follow despues de la semana proxima loca.

peace

The social network - Wired in

I feel like I'm wired in right now with my school work..back to the books!

Black Friday.

Black Friday has been long and it doesn't feel like Friday anymore, but overall has been good. I am so blessed to work with such awesome fun easy-going people! Right now on break with my doppio espresso and grande pike place coffee. Hopefully it will help me to remain coherent and not too grumpy.

Such consumerism doesn't disgust me as it does some people because I reflect on the likely probability that much of what is purchased are gifts for others... I could stand to gain a fraction of some persons generosity.

Peace

Monarch.

Yesterday was so stressful! I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders with all of these assignments that are due, were due, or will be due!
Then right after my five mile run as I was power walking/ Napoleon dynamite running to class I looked up...
A beautiful monarch butterfly. It seemed to be alone but it flew all the more stoudt for it. It drifted off above the radiating glass roof top and beyond with sleek ease.
It was a beautiful moment.

Peace

Autumn and Change.

This semester has been flying right by! I can hardly believe that only a few short days will mark the one month left point! Up to this point I have been exceedingly lazy, but the past week I have been working much harder so hopefully my grades will reflect the latter opposed to the former.

I always enjoy this time of year when the weather turns cooler and the leaves have turned color. Yet their is a faint  melancholy and a reminder that time goes on, as we must press on as well. The main thing is to not look with regret to the past, but to learn and reflect on occasion the lessons of the past with a mindset of the future while enjoying the present and how the present translates to the larger picture. If that larger picture is the one desired, then the same course of action may be continuued. If one views their larger picture with disdain, discouragement  may set in if one allows it. But one must work to root out discouragement. Nothing kills hope faster than regret and regret is built out of seeds of discouragement. There is still hope to alter the masterpiece of one's life. One has simply to choose a change of pallette with a fresh perspective and to begin the alteration. The main word being to BEGIN.

peace

Wisdom from the Word.

Isaiah 25:


(4) "For you have been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat; for the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall."


(7) "and He will destroy on this mountain the surface of the covering cast over all people, and the veil that is spread over all nations.

(8) He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; the rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; for the LORD has spoken.

(9) and it will be said in that day: 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us. We have waited for Him; we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.'"



Isaiah 29:

(13) "Therefore the Lord said: 'Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men,

(14) Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work among this people, a marvelous work and a wonder; For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.'

(15) Woe to those who seek deep to hide their counsel far from the LORD, and their works are in the dark; They say, 'Who sees us?' and, 'Who knows us?'

(16) Surely you have things turned around! Shall the potter be esteemed as the clay; For shall the thing made say of him who made it, 'He did not make me'? or shall the thing formed say of him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'?"



Isaiah 30:

(18) "Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; and therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him."

Luke 12:
(3)"Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops"

(29)"And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. (30) For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. (31) But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you."

(34) "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Luke 6:
(27) "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, (28) bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you."

(43) "For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
(44) For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes form a bramble bush.
(45) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."





.

Current History.

Rwanda genocide perpetrators brought to justice including a female who was female minister during the 1994 genocide in Rwanda and was a perpetrator of leading the genocide and rape. Justice is finally finally served over ten years later. She is sentenced to life in jail.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13507474

The Winklevoss twins are back at it again in seeking further reparation from the technology giant facebook and its founder Mark Zuckerburg.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-13906666

EU bullies Greece into further cuts in essential government spending and significant tax hikes on an already over taxed nation otherwise essential EU funds will not be dispersed to Greece and Greece will be forced to default on its upcoming loan payments in July.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13902794

Car bomb hits a hospital in the Eastern Logar province of Azra in Afghanistan. At least 27 dead and 53 injured. Many at the hospital were women, children, and elderly people according to provincial leader Din Mohammed Darwaish. This is purported to be one of the most deadly civilian attacks since 2001.
Taliban spokesman denies claims that they were behind the severe civilian based attack.
U.S. President Obama will be gradually pulling out troops and will be completely removed by 2013 despite recent events and the seeming increase in civilian casualties in recent months.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-13914252

Gay marriage legalized in the state of New York. 6th state to accept the policy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13914013

Revolution.

http://youtu.be/1Kf_6BWcOOg

I can't help but feel like my generation is apart of something greater. One massive movement for change; a change for the better. Dictatorships are being replaced by democracy and greater freedom of speech and equality and opportunity.

Coldplay's newest song "Every teardrop is a waterfall" is compelling and uplifting. I can't help but place this song (in my own mind, that is) as the theme song for the revolutions that are taking place world-wide. Check out the static youtube video of their newest song with the attached link!

Snippet of the Day.

Carpe diem; Seize the day.

The nice thing about time is that it is fluid. One moment can never be recovered or reversed, but the next moment is at one's disposal to conduct it however one may; for better or worse. Why focus on what has already past and cannot be changed or controlled? Instead, plunge foward looking toward the future, while enjoying every moment of the present and set achievable goals along the way to produce increasing satisfaction generating an exponential growth of determination, confidence and effectiveness.

My goals for the summer:
-teach myself O. chem from the text book that just came today (yay! :]) so that I am better prepared and have to study less during the fall semester (which is going to be a monster with my courses..physics, 2-300 level bio electives, and o. chem hahaha)
-organize and clean my living area ("a clean desk is an organized mind")
-blog about a designer a day and the Fall 2011 lineup
-Read a half hour a day (non-fiction)
-prep for cell and developmental bio (class coming up in a couple of weeks)

~peace

Birthday.

Homemade vanilla on vanilla cake was delish!
Can't help the sinking feeling of the knowledge that I am one year older and feel as if I am running in slow motion.
?Porque debemos celebrar el cumpleanos? no se

-peace

Moral Compass.

Today was "one of those days".
I awoke with surprising clarity and alertness at the early hour of six thirty and later brewed up some cafe estima and french roast blend of starbucks and sipped that on the back screened in porch as the morning mist settled around me and the birds went about their business chirping cheerfully despite the morning dull gloom. Yet it wasn't really all that gloomy..more serene and peaceful.
Later I worked with some kids..nice enough, but I'll never be really close with any of them and today I have come to a conclusion as to why; our moral compasses point different directions. They have all "initiated"..aka they have "stolen" by eating company food on company property and company time, and I have deemed such an action highly inappropriate and idiotic at best. A part of me would love to be able to relate to them, but the greater part of me steps back and realizes that it is far better to be different and to take a stand for what is right. To lower my standard for some ill-gotten gain of temporarily slight increased social status would not be worth it and would not be true to myself. Also Galations 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The live I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God ..." aka I have a different standard to live by...Christ is my Lord and Savior and the Holy Spirit is working in my life sanctifying me molding me to Christ's Holiness.

It is better to stand alone for what is right than to defy your natural inclination for what you know to be wrong in order to appease the populous.

-peace

Beyond Expectations.

Heart pounding. Mouth Dry. Hands shaking. Dread building.
Of all semesters, I had never been less confident in the potential outcome of my grade. Chemistry hadn't transferred, so if I didn't pass, then I wouldn't progress. This I believed not to be a problem until Dr. R took me aside for what I thought to be a congratulatory talk, but what ended up being a "is this REALLY what you got for your overall lab grade?" kind of talk. Needless to say I have surpassed all apathy and laziness I have ever witnessed in others and accomplished that which I despised for myself. Some chem lab assignments, and bio lab assignments for that matter, I was "too tired" and simply decided not to do them. How silly, right? So chem lab, and eco/evo lab (and eco/evo lecture..first two tests were a bust), were 'epic fail'.
Back to the present.
My computer finally opened up to the home screen and I opened up the screen to my final grades...
Shock. Joy. Amazement.
I managed to squeak out an A- for Chem and Calc, and a B for Eco/Evo! I still do not know how, but gladly accept it.

-peace

Deathly Hallows Movie Part I in Review.

After a 3 year intermission, I reread Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling which is the final book in the Harry Potter series. Rowling's writing carries the reader to a different world; a world where hogwarts exists and a place where an evil dark wizard named Voldemort is trying to take over. Though the plot is fiction the relationships and the sense of the fight for everything good against everything bad rings true.

Recently the movie version came out for the first half of Deathly Hallows and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but was unsure as to how it matched up to the actual storyline of the book due to the nature of "The Half-Blood Prince" which was more like a loose interpretation of Rowling's masterpiece. However after having reread Deathly Hallows I can say with delight that the movie matches the book.

I believe the second part is coming out in July, so look for it in theaters!

-peace

Links to Current Events.

-pro-democracy protesters brutally put down in syria; many killed. U.S. takes economic action against some ties to Syria:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13245165

-small island kingdom of Bahrain accuses medical professionals of working against the government and a slew of other accusations for what appears to be 'unbiased care for protesters'.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-12753727

-Funeral for son of Ghadafi in Tripoli.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13260343

-peace

Lost.

The past couple weeks have been something of a lesson. A couple of mondays ago my iphone 3GS was stolen and then that friday someone rearended my car when i was at a stop sign. Now the trunk flies open when i hit a hard bump or am driving on the highway.

I think that the lesson is to not rely on myself and to realize to realize that I am not the one in control; God is. When we rely on ourselves, we become prideful and self-righteous and indignant when things don't go our way. This attitude creeps up on me at various times and this was an expensive self-check up.

It is another lesson in complaining. I can either choose to accept what has happened and move onward to the next step in fixing the situation, or I can choose to mope, complain and sit in the misery and despair of the situation. This has been a daily decision I have had to make recently, and I have not always chosen correctly but day by day I am learning to keep my focus on He who does not change and is always constant.

Oh, and I believe my ipod shuffle has been lost now as well. I think I would lose my head if it wasn't attached haha :D

~peace

Current Events and Thoughts.

There is so many things bombarding our society and world right now! I don't know whether it is my increased awareness of what is occurring in the world or whether it is a true increase, but it seems like things have been occurring at a greater rate than in the past. I hope to recount some of the major events for historical purposes so that I may remember the context in which I first thought about it (opinions etc.)

Last month (or there abouts)
-large seismic activity in pacific causing huge tsunamis and earthquakes in Japan. Many killed, huge devastation.

-(before japan earthquake) revolts in egypt. rebels rallied against mobarrack (spelling may be off) who was the long time leader and ally with the U.S. U.S. leader Obama turned on his ally saying that it was time for him to go and that he has lost his legitimacy as a leader. Military now operates as an interim government until democratic elections which will take place in up coming months. Some worry that there is not enough time for legititmate forms of government to campaign (e.g. the only groups who will be on top of things with campaigning are radical islamists). There has been increased violence against Christian groups in the region.

-(before revolution in egypt) revolt in tunisia (thought to have sparked the revolt in egypt). unclear as to the situation currently taking place there. Many refugees fled to islands off of italy. residents not too happy but situation promised to slowly improved with decreasing numbers of refugees present as they ship to northern european countries)

-(i think after revolution in egypt) revolution in libya. Rebels (who are unidentifiable and may be largely a part of extreme islamist groups) revolted against longtime leader Mommar Ghadafi (again spelling may be off) . U.S. had been allies with the libyan leader up to this point. Now leaders of NATO have turned against Ghadafi and seek to assasinate him to replace him and set up a more "democratic form of government". This is evident in the failed assasination attempt on Sunday or Saturday may 1, 2011 that resulted in the death of Ghadafi's youngest son, and at least 2 grand children. Though he and his wife were in the same house, they were uninjured in the assasination attempt. Despite the obvious, NATO claims that this was not an assasination attempt. Propaganda in the media against the Ghadafi regime has sparked some division and obvious leaks in the government (most likely out of fear of ending up on the wrong side once everything shakes down). The media would have it that he has lost his legitimacy as a leader. The question I ask is, what gives them the right to deal in the business of another country when the majority of the country supported the leader (corrupt or not) and a small sect rose up as muckrakers? It is my conclusion that those who have turned have turned on Ghadafi for fear of being on the losing side (as noted earlier). This is not a defense for any corruption in the libyan government that may or may not be present and is certainly not a defense for past crimes against humanity. However why pursue now? The U.S., in my opinion, is treading dangerous waters with shunning so many important arab allies and is soon at risk of losing its syrian and afghanistan allies as well.

-Osama bin Laden was taken down by navy seals late last night May 1, 2011 outside a military training compound in Pakistan. Pakistani officials claim that they did not know he was there but it looks suspicious due to the intense control of land of the military and the proximity of the compound that bin Laden was in to the military base which is the pakistani equivalent to "West Point". Afghan leader Kharzai says that since they have found and killed bin Laden, the reasons for continued U.S. presence in Afghanistan is dwindling (aka..get out of my country).

-Revolts occurring recently (within last couple of weeks) in Syria being violently put down. Same rhetoric in media as was present for libya. My guess is it will head the same direction with U.S. leaders saying that Syrian leader has lost 'legitimacy' and will then seek NATO's action against Syria to change who is in power.

-Tornadoes touched down last week wreaking havoc. Over 300 dead. Main damage in Alabama.

[please note that many statements related above are just my ignorant opinions of what I have pieced together with the intelligence I have received through various media outlets including CNN, BBC, and NPR.]

Iron & Wine.

I haven't listened to him in awhile but have recently picked up "Around the Well".

His folk infused acoustic and soft vocals are simply charming and heart warming.

-peace

words.

34"Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mluth speaks. 35A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things and an evil man out the evil treasures brings forth evil things. 36But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement. 37For by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned."

Matthew 12:34-37 NKJV The HOLY Bible

In The Mix.

1. Lecrae (from Rebel)
2. Matchbook Romance
3. Underoath
4. Coldplay
5. From First to Last
6. Attack! Attack!
7. Devil Wears Prada

[In the mix is a semi-weekly semi-up-to-date list of what's on my ipod shuffle.]

Yesterday I ran my tempo run (6.2 miles) to this mix..overall pretty good. I think there's a few other artists in there from random cd's like some more chill pieces and electronica.

For the first time in my life I really have to work hard at school..I must say it is quite a harsh adjustment, but a necessary one. The volume and difficulty combined at times seems insurrmountable, but I just have to buckle down.

-peace

First Week.

Classes somehow look different on a schedule sheet than they feel in reality. Everything distends itself to some disproportionate size that seems almost insurrmountable. In the case of Calc. II, I believe I have finally met my match. I have not had calcI since 4 semesters ago and it appears as though everything that I learned evaporated from my poor head. Lecture yesterday felt like she took a club to brain and beat it to a pulp! Haha :D

The whole lecture (calc II) felt like some bad dream...jumping from one idea to another at lightning speed over topics that I vaguely recollected that refused to form into any solid idea; remaining in a cloud of mystification and confounded at my lack of recall and apparent lack of memory of any shred of useful information.

My other classes are good and I'm super super excited about my ecology/evo. class! The lab and lecture are awesome and the professor is one of the best of my college career. Yet that lingering feeling of inadequacy, like I'm some fraud dunce amongst geniuses. Maybe I'm being a bit insecure, but seriously some of the stuff it feels like the profs are continuuing some sentence that I missed the first 100 pages of (metaphorically speaking). I'm just going to have to actually, finally step up to the plate and play the game. Up to this point my semesters have been more busy work than anything else. This semester will be a challenge, which will be a nice change of pace.

I think I'm going to drop calcII and pick it up over the summer because the amount of coursework for each of my classes while attempting to relearn an entire semester of calc will prove to be a futile losing effort. I'd like to say I "toughed it out", but this I feel is no instance to let my pride into the mix.

My brother just said that someone who he worked closely with yesterday was out with the flu today so hopefully no flu for him nor for me! :-/

With so much to do and so little time I have to ask God to help me..since he controls the whole time-space continuum anyway ;)

-peace

Valentino preFall 2011

I just looked at the look book for Valentino preFall2011 collection on www.vogue.com

Great looks.
very feminine.
lots of large ruffles.
lots of neutral colors with infusions of red and leopard print.

Maybe I should have done fashion marketing (?) :)