Pre Gaming.

So the last week of classes for the semester has arrived with a bang. Yesterday I had three back to back tests in the morning and my NMR spec lab report to do by 5. All in all I hope everything went ok but I am simply relieved the storm has past. There are storm clouds in the future as finals week approaches, but hopefully I won't be working 30 and 40 hours during that time so I can actually catch up on everything that I haven't had time to learn. Today I worked, again but all in all it was the break from studying and thinking that I needed to recoup and regroup. Tomorrow I hit the ground running after work with studying.

I just put in my notice earlier to the volunteer coordinator that I'm pausing volunteering for right now. I feel guilty, and a large part of me wants to continue, but I know the right decision right now is to really focus on school. This semester has really proved that there is only so much time in the day, no more, no less than 24 hours. It is impossible to go sleepless above a week and even doing one all nighter is unproductive and makes one more vulnerable to illness.

As far as the world news and affairs goes, the secret service was busted for shady behavior with some exotic dancers and mitt romney got the republican nomination (which I have vowed to do everything in my power to not allow him to enter the role of president.), Syria is still a bloody civil war with the world favoring the rebels but with hands bound behind the back because of the government's influential allies (Russia, China, Iran). North Korea failed to put a satellite into space (or so they say), and there is concern that they may be testing missiles in the near future. Iran has pretty much reached weapons grade uranium enrichment (the amount of enrichment needed for the use of nuclear power is 5%, whereas weapons grade is between 80-90+%.) Whitney Houston died. And that's a wrap for the global spec of things from my point of view!

peace

El fin de break.

So this is the end of break. The beginning of the week looked golden. Not a care, not a concern because spring break was ALL week. Who needs to worry about school work or research projects when there's all week to do them? Who cares about presentations on mondays following break when they are a whole week away? How naive, or maybe ignorant it may seem. Yes I fell into the all too common trap of the "tomorrow idealist". Who is the "tomorrow idealist" you may ask? That person will put hope into tomorrow (which is not necessarily a bad thing) to the point that they overestimate what can be accommplished within that 24 hour span known as tomorrow. All tomorrows eventually become "todays". When thought and talk are not translated to action with the occurrence of a tomorrow becoming a today, a mindset of false ideality occurs.

Most times I lapse into a full blown "tomorrow idealist" mentality over school breaks, but I must happily confess that I did not fully condescend to such a level on this particular occasion of spring break. I did not get everything done that I had hoped to get done, but I do set exceedingly high standards and goals for myself that are usually unattainable. I had wanted to clean the house top to bottom (including windows) and I wanted to get my garden up to par and clear out the dead undergrowth of the herbs, and I wanted to go through the growing stack of unsorted/unfiled papers that has been slowly accumulating on my dresser, book case, and random plastic bin in the depths of my closet for the past year, and I wanted to finish a novel or read a new book, but alas none of these I was able to accomplish.

On the upside, I studied physics yesterday until I thought my head would burst (either from the 48 oz. of starbucks coffee I consumed or the immense amount of information I deluged my brain with). Yesterday I studied physics for like 5 hours. That's the most consecutive time I have ever studied physics in one day! I had wanted to get ahead in studying, but at least I won't be behind on monday. I still really really really need to take a look at O chem! There is a test coming up in a week and a half and I have not cracked my book since before break! Excellence does not come without consequence. Order and understanding to not magically arise out of disorder and ignorance. Excellence is cultivated and nurtured. When it is fully mature it blossoms and flourishes with regular tender care.

Other than school work I've caught up with a few close friends and have relaxed my mind and body and indulged in some rigorous workouts at the gym and on the road. As this break comes to a close, I am reminded that time is all too fleeting and that each moment is precious. I need to use each moment more consciously to ensure my life does not fly by without my being conscious of its passing. I want to really live in each moment. I want to seize the moment, the hour, and the day. I want to always work towards being a better person and being a more responsible individual. My continued goal after this spring break has concluded tomorrow is to go head on full-force into the rest of the semester without holding back and without being lazy and accomplish what I know I am capable of. The only one holding me back is me. The only one capable of making me succeed is me. Either way, it boils down to what I do, not just what I say.

So in parting for now,
Carpe diem, friends.

Friends.

Who are friends? They are those people that you can be vulnerable with and won't judge you or talk behind your back because they have your back. They understand that everyone is unique and that each person's uniqueness makes them uniquely who they are. Friends are hard to come by, let alone good friends. Remember young heart, always remember ... It is far better to have rolled the di than to not take the chance on opening up, making yourself vulnerable, and experiencing all the intricate emotions of life. And for relationships, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved. What a blessing emotion is that we can express our inner most feelings. In part it is what defines our species. Ouvrez votre cœur and learn to forgive when those we care about inadvertently hurt our feelings.

C'est la vie.

Qui sont mes amies? No sé. Yo abrigo mon cœur y ustedes turned a mi. Pourquoi? Who can I trust? Nadie.

Today's Slice: Running With Plan B by Jill Carattini

Today's Slice: Running With Plan B by Jill Carattini

Check out this slice of encouragement!

One of those days.

The day before yesterday was just one of those days. I kept bumping into everything and when I looked at a cabinet funny things flew out of it. I bumped a wire to a speaker of our stereo system that is placed at a certain height in our kitchen and then as I sat down the ENTIRE stereo system AND speakers fell on my head!
Later on I had this hard core nose bleed at the gym and coughed up globules of blood. I was a bit worried that the two were linked, but I've only had one other nose bleed since then so I think maybe it was my deviated septum with the temperature fluctuations recently.

peace

Quadrantids Meteor Shower.

2:15 AM my alarm went off and for a split moment I dared consider the alternative to getting up, but then decided against it. I'd never seen a meteor shower before and this was my opportunity to see it. Never would this meteor shower come at this particular moment in time ever again. Each "shooting star" is unique. I bundled up into what seemed like 10 layers and rolled out the door a little after 2:30AM to my driveway to see the view. I tried standing first with my neck craned every which way. I pondered where exactly I was to be looking, but remembered that the website had not given specifics so I resolutely laid flat out on my back on the driveway for five minutes. Nothing. Nada. Zilch! I had not given up hope yet, but I the conductive heat transfer from my body to the pavement was taking a toll so I headed back in to grab my blankets; one to lay on and one to cover me and a pillow for my head. I also brewed up a pot of absolutely smooth, hot and delicious Gevalia decaf coffee. Renewed in my sentiments to catch a glimpse of the meteor shower phenomenon I trundled out the door with my warm blankets and hot coffee around 2:45.

 I lay out underneath the stars beneath my soft fleece blanket and gazed and gazed and gazed. It struck me how huge and how marvelous our universe really is and how truly incredible its Maker and Creator really is. I was reminded of a passage in Psalm 8:3-5,9

"When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him  a little lower than the angels and You have crowned him with glory and honor...O LORD, our Lord, How excelllent is Your name in all the earth!"

All of it, God created and said it was good. I can only stand in awe of his creation. Beauty and magnificence are the only words that I can relegate to such phenomena that imperfectly describes the very  thing.

Anyway, I was laying out for a few minutes absorbing in the scene and the sheer silence of the night and took a sip of my hot coffee from my Starbucks tumbler every few moments when I saw it. My first meteor. It was so awesome. My chest swelled and my heart leaped. Words cannot ascertain the event, only dimly recollect my vague remembrance. The actual live "shooting star"...wow, now that was something! I quickly texted a few friends to share my excitement and was staring back at the vast night sky (or I suppose early morning sky!) when there it was! Another meteor quickly passed across the sky, even larger than the first! I lay out there for another 5 minutes or so and then decided to call it quits..It had already reached past the time when NASA had predicted the peak time to view the shower.

I am so glad that I woke up and bundled up to glimpse a small piece of God's glory in the nighttime sky!

peace