Those Mid-Summer Days..

The first 9 weeks of summer break have come and gone in a flurry. Biochem and O chem II pretty much dominated any free time that I had, but thankfully they have come to their natural conclusion and I am left to begin what is left of my summer break. I cannot convey the relief and utter gratefulness that I have no test to prepare for, no lab report to complete, and no hovering necessity to work out a few hours of chemical mechanisms! A part of me wishes I would have taken summer classes before..maybe I would have graduated early. On the other hand, I feel "burnt out" from pounding my brain since last fall with a constant stream of classes. I think that at times the longer path is the better path. Both lead to the same outcome, but the longer allows its traveller to stay connected; with family, with friends, with life. What is the point of a degree if you have no one to share the achievement with? What worth is an A if you near the breaking point? I worked really hard in my classes, but one thing that I learned this year, was the value of taking a metaphorical deep breath. No matter how crazy life gets, take time to share moments with friends and moments in nature. The beauty of a friendship filled with laughter, and the beauty of a flower filled field uplifts our spirit and sustains us through trials. I would venture to say that God has given both as gifts to us, meant to be graciously accepted.

Now that summer has finally arrived for me I have high aspirations for what I want to do in my free time..
1) create a reading list of 10 books  and read them before the end of august
2) stay up to date on global events and document them
3) go through and organize/file my papers over the past year
4) read through the Old Testament
5) start bumping up mileage training for half marathon
6)join running club?

That's all for now..

Shalom

The Gardener.

‎"Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there. It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime. " -Ray Bradbury

Some of Summer..

Summer is almost officially here, but the weather has felt more and more like spring! It is simply lovely..no humidity and 60-70 degrees fahrenheit! Though summer vacation has been here, it really has not felt like it. The past four weeks I have been in my Summer Session I class every single day and studying for tests constantly! I have a fourth exam tomorrow, and a cumulative final on friday. It kind of bundles all of the information that I've acquired (or rather should have acquired) and builds on it. Sometimes it is good to just take a break. Yesterday was just that. I haven't played tennis since a few months ago and before that a couple of years ago. It was great to get back out there and begin the process of regaining my muscle memory (and my awesome fore hand!).
As far as everything else goes..que es lo que es.

peace

Le début de l'été et vingt trois.

The spring semester reached its natural conclusion. I did alright, but again not as well as what I know I am capable of. I just have to translate that dissatisfaction into action. At the moment I have biochemistry which is shaping up rather nicely. I don't believe I started out on the right foot with my prof, but I think we're on cordial terms now. Coolest lady ever...she's like an Italian gramma; great communicator, and caring. The course itself is extremely condensed! The regular semester is 16 weeks and this summer session is a mere 4 weeks :O It seems like it is the culmination from all of my other biology and chemistry courses. It truly is amazing to see how it all fits together in a very intricate puzzle. Test II tomorrow, and then 2 weeks to go!

My grandma had a successful open heart surgery and implantation of a pace maker. Right now she is out of rehab and back home.

Nearly 10 days ago was a very special occasion. May 15 marked the 23rd year of my being. Simply lovely day with my mom shopping and later a beautiful, hand-crafted white cake with vanilla icing. I don't feel like I'm older, though wiser. I don't feel like I'm not 23, but I'm not sure that I feel 23 either. The years they pass all the more rapidly the older you get. I suppose the very essence of the number casts a shadow that makes the acceptance of its entrance, undeniable. I am 23. I am no longer young,  but by no means old. My life is on the brink of beginning, and that is a very exciting prospect.

Here's to May babes, and Here's to accepting one's age with cordiality and joy!

~C.S.

open heart.

I sit in a reverie. I hear the bass of Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" album resonating through my ears and body. Images flood through like a high speed train flowing through cities and fields; there for a moment and then gone. Memories of laughter and joy, memories of heartache and unsurety. Tears tempt to burst forth.

What is this? Two days ago, I saw storm clouds in the horizon and even felt the drizzle of the impending air, yet I felt nothing. I felt as light as a feather. Now it all weighs down. Now the dam threatens to break.

My grandmother goes in for open heart surgery tomorrow. I may never get to see her alive again....I may never get to say goodbye.

Pre Gaming.

So the last week of classes for the semester has arrived with a bang. Yesterday I had three back to back tests in the morning and my NMR spec lab report to do by 5. All in all I hope everything went ok but I am simply relieved the storm has past. There are storm clouds in the future as finals week approaches, but hopefully I won't be working 30 and 40 hours during that time so I can actually catch up on everything that I haven't had time to learn. Today I worked, again but all in all it was the break from studying and thinking that I needed to recoup and regroup. Tomorrow I hit the ground running after work with studying.

I just put in my notice earlier to the volunteer coordinator that I'm pausing volunteering for right now. I feel guilty, and a large part of me wants to continue, but I know the right decision right now is to really focus on school. This semester has really proved that there is only so much time in the day, no more, no less than 24 hours. It is impossible to go sleepless above a week and even doing one all nighter is unproductive and makes one more vulnerable to illness.

As far as the world news and affairs goes, the secret service was busted for shady behavior with some exotic dancers and mitt romney got the republican nomination (which I have vowed to do everything in my power to not allow him to enter the role of president.), Syria is still a bloody civil war with the world favoring the rebels but with hands bound behind the back because of the government's influential allies (Russia, China, Iran). North Korea failed to put a satellite into space (or so they say), and there is concern that they may be testing missiles in the near future. Iran has pretty much reached weapons grade uranium enrichment (the amount of enrichment needed for the use of nuclear power is 5%, whereas weapons grade is between 80-90+%.) Whitney Houston died. And that's a wrap for the global spec of things from my point of view!

peace

El fin de break.

So this is the end of break. The beginning of the week looked golden. Not a care, not a concern because spring break was ALL week. Who needs to worry about school work or research projects when there's all week to do them? Who cares about presentations on mondays following break when they are a whole week away? How naive, or maybe ignorant it may seem. Yes I fell into the all too common trap of the "tomorrow idealist". Who is the "tomorrow idealist" you may ask? That person will put hope into tomorrow (which is not necessarily a bad thing) to the point that they overestimate what can be accommplished within that 24 hour span known as tomorrow. All tomorrows eventually become "todays". When thought and talk are not translated to action with the occurrence of a tomorrow becoming a today, a mindset of false ideality occurs.

Most times I lapse into a full blown "tomorrow idealist" mentality over school breaks, but I must happily confess that I did not fully condescend to such a level on this particular occasion of spring break. I did not get everything done that I had hoped to get done, but I do set exceedingly high standards and goals for myself that are usually unattainable. I had wanted to clean the house top to bottom (including windows) and I wanted to get my garden up to par and clear out the dead undergrowth of the herbs, and I wanted to go through the growing stack of unsorted/unfiled papers that has been slowly accumulating on my dresser, book case, and random plastic bin in the depths of my closet for the past year, and I wanted to finish a novel or read a new book, but alas none of these I was able to accomplish.

On the upside, I studied physics yesterday until I thought my head would burst (either from the 48 oz. of starbucks coffee I consumed or the immense amount of information I deluged my brain with). Yesterday I studied physics for like 5 hours. That's the most consecutive time I have ever studied physics in one day! I had wanted to get ahead in studying, but at least I won't be behind on monday. I still really really really need to take a look at O chem! There is a test coming up in a week and a half and I have not cracked my book since before break! Excellence does not come without consequence. Order and understanding to not magically arise out of disorder and ignorance. Excellence is cultivated and nurtured. When it is fully mature it blossoms and flourishes with regular tender care.

Other than school work I've caught up with a few close friends and have relaxed my mind and body and indulged in some rigorous workouts at the gym and on the road. As this break comes to a close, I am reminded that time is all too fleeting and that each moment is precious. I need to use each moment more consciously to ensure my life does not fly by without my being conscious of its passing. I want to really live in each moment. I want to seize the moment, the hour, and the day. I want to always work towards being a better person and being a more responsible individual. My continued goal after this spring break has concluded tomorrow is to go head on full-force into the rest of the semester without holding back and without being lazy and accomplish what I know I am capable of. The only one holding me back is me. The only one capable of making me succeed is me. Either way, it boils down to what I do, not just what I say.

So in parting for now,
Carpe diem, friends.